Hear Me Out -Frou Frou

I join the queue on your answerphone
And all i am - is holding breath
Just pick up i know you're there
Can't you hear - i'm not myself

Oh go ahead and lie to me
You could say anything
Small talk will be - just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you

So listen up - this sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out - i'm not over you yet
It's love on the line can you handle it

So how do i do normal
The smile i fake - the permanent wave of
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - i'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings - and fingerprints
I don't - wanna feel - anything
But i do
And it all comes back to you

So listen up - this sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out - i'm not over you yet
(It's love on the line can you handle it?)

So listen up
Look at me straight
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer

I join the queue on your answerphone
And all i am - is holding breath
Just pick up i know you're there......

So listen up - this sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out - i'm not over you yet
(It's love on the line can you handle it?)

,,,,

someone came from the past. i dont know what he's up to. but it's like releasing a ghost.. i felt relieve..

Lebaran!

weekend ini,
internet lelet banget. padahal modem di rumah baru di benerin ama si dodi, jadi sebenernya bisa ngeblog, and dia juga bawain software dreamweaver, jadi cita2 mau ngerubah layout bisa tercapai (gagal berat nih, susah ya wujud-in lay out yg bikin diphotoshop, dirubah ke dreamveaver). trus pingin posting soal kecelakan mandala.. udah basi.. just say a little pray 4 them.
i feel kinda empty. mungkin karena past weekend kerja non stop, sakit, dan mostly lonely (haha).. i need some kinda thing that would feed my soul and mind.. pingin pergi liburan, ga mungkin.. i need a getaway, so.. i decided to find a book to keep me busy. i used to read alot, i stoped bcoz, buku mahal ya nek.. bukan kebutuhan urgent lagi. tapi sejak ketemu ama newstand di pa-fest jadi teratasi sedikit. cuma dont have the time to go there, jadi sekali2 nya pergi kesana i could spent all day there. nanti buat posting sendiri deh ttg newstand. after 3 hours lookin at books and magazine, i still couldn't decide what to read. pas baru dateng, pinginnya buku yang banyak feel-nya, yang take me to another place... or maybe some romance. tapi di romance section ada mba2 yang lama banget disana kayanya ga mau gantian, jadi nyari2 ada di literatur... ada cottingley fairies sih.. tapi udah tau ceritanya.. nanti deh kalo balik lagi bulan depan. coba check lagi ke bagian romance... wah si mba masih disana.. ada majalah baru ga ya.. ga ada, ternyata vogue ama bazar-nya lagi ga penting buat sekarang.. ah akhirnya si mba pergi ke kasir bawa segepok buku harlequin-harlequin-an, hmmm kalo dia aja menemukan segitu banyak.. wah mungkin ga bawa pulang cuma 1 ato dua buku neh. bergegaslah gw ke section itu.. hmm.. you can call it love... i'll be by your side.. (c'mon give it a chance yan).. idaho!.. fabio.. (just pick up one).. hiyaiks... whats with the cover... ah ga jadi ah bisa diketawain amada nih.. ah yan your not that desperate.. (tapi setelah setengah jam kemudian ga nemu apa pun).. or may be i am. i move to another rack to see other books with a more appropriate covers.. (i know, dont judge a book by its cover, but you'll judged it to). jewel (got an oprah book club logo on it)cuma 15 ribu, tapi agak tipis, coba liat2 lagi wah disini bagus2.. then i pick up a thick book with a plastic cover. gambarnya bunga.. tada i think i found a treasure.. white oleander.. it about a mother daughter relatioship.. udah di bikin film kayanya, tapi belom sempet nonto, i bet it's gonna be a whole new experience reading it. bawa ke kasir buku 45 ribu itu,disko ternyata jadi cuma 35. i walk home home smilling, hoping its gonna worth the journey.
i went to 2 exibitions. ada 3 pameran sebenernya yang pingin di datengin tapi sempet ga ya. ada FDGI expo 2005 di JHCC, yang ngadain AdwiCipta (hmm.. gotta worth something), ADFEST di bentara budaya (akhirnya ada lagi kayanya lombanya udah dari maret.. di reklame juga udah lama), ada screening winning ad juga. Sama pameran Foto ID, pameran fotografer2 muda dalam rangka 17-an kmrn, tapi yang ini ga jelas dimana. si oelil juga minta diajak jalan2, and she's okay with accompanying me there, katanya.. for old time sake (oelil gw terharu.. gw juga kangen masa2 itu, be brave gurl). akhirnya kita putusin untuk pergi ke 2 pameran aja, since yang satu ga jelas. FDGI Expo, dari banner dan iklan radio dan tv dimana2, i already thought, that it's a big event. once we got there, ternyata benar. since juga, diadain di JHCC, kayanya mereka pake ampir semua hall. sampe di lobi udah rame banget, orang pada mondar-mandir sana sini. ternyata bayar, yah biasanya kaya gini buat mencegah pengunjung2 yang "tidak diinginkan". setelah masuk.. kok kecewa berat.. hiks.. ternyata karena ga tanya2.. pamerannya actually grafika.. jadilah si plotter-plotter besar itu di sana. kirain bakalan banyak karya disain grafis. but, whatdeheck.. jalan aja.. tryt di ujung ruangan ada pameran poster ama photografi.. yah bagus lah.. poster2-nya dididikasiin sama bencana dan berbagai masalah yang ada dindonesia judulnya 'light of hope for indonesia' dibuat ama desainer top asia tenggara, kebanyakan sih indonesia. banyak nama2 yang dikenal dari leboye, pak yongki, bahkan ada pak iwan ramelan, which i'm very dissapointed, karena begitu besar namanya.. kok begitu standar karyanya.
karena ga puas di pameran pertama kita tetep ngotot ke pameran kedua. Adfest Asia Pasific, karena nyampenya udah agak sore jadi kita pikir udah abis screeningnya.. well liat display iklan cetaknya aja juga udah puas. ternyata.. masih ada screeningnya.. dengan gembiranya kita keatas. emang iklan thailand sinting sinting, kok bisa ya, padahal look-nya mirip ama kita. tapi kita ga sekreatif itu.. kalah jauh. iklan jepang juga lain lagi, komik sekali. dateng ke pameran kaya gini, langsung berasa ga berkonsep bgt. baik kerjaan ato hidup. gantung deh.. udah ah

old maid

i just found 5 grey hair on my head this weekend. guess i really am getting old. katanya sih bisa juga karena stress... tapi kok kayanya setiap penjelasan di google ga ada yang ngomongin soal stress ya... it's all about aging. dan saya bahkan belum 25.

Haunting..

yana: gw lagi ngeliat frensternya F... tryt... yg kemaren itu arisan kantornya
amanda: iya..gue jg liat
yana: liat photo albumnya ga?
yana: oh my... horor
amanda: hmmmm...
amanda: napa ?
yana: AK girls
yana: ngapain ya F disitu... i thought she's never a part of them
yana: God i hate their smiles
amanda: ya mungkin somewhere along the way..they pick up f
yana: di photo lain ada L segala sih... ama R
amanda: ohyaaaa..nanti saya liat ah
yana: apakah cuma gw ya yg masih berasa ampe sekarang
yana: they look so happy
amanda: krn mereka kan gak pernah di posisi lo Yan...
yana: R man... R..
amanda: they'll never understand
yana: oh.. did i mention ketemu t (queen bee) hari minggu
amanda: nope
amanda: diana
yana: gw langsung balik muka saking kaget nya... tapi gw malah papas an ama sepupunya, m (angk monik)
amanda: dimana
yana: diana?
yana: oooh... di pim 2 ... Zara
amanda: Zara.. mmmm..
yana: iya... langsung ilfeel gw
amanda: anywaaaay...trus T-nya gimana
yana: T-nya sih lagi ngobrol ama M... tapi... i'm sure she got a glimpse oh me...
yana: dan pasti mikir... ngapain yana disini, emang mampu...
yana: dan dia memborong
amanda: ya gaklah......gak ampe segitunya kali Yan...
yana: hihi... tapi asik kan ngayal...

tik tok tik tok

look at the time...
bukan, bukan sepagi ini udah nyampe kantor... tapi.. this late, belom nyampe rumah...
i need a sleep, time to go home.

smelly cat.. smelly cat

aaaaah.... leganya akhirnya lunas juga daku dari jeratan utang piutang... memang pak hambali paling pinter menguras isi dompet gw, blm nyampe tabungan tangannya sudah nadah bersama godaan godaan wewangian di tasnya. yana ngomongin apaan sih?
ada tukang jualan parfum yang dateng ke kantor setiap awal bulan, sekitar 250 ampe 450, di bayar 3 kali, ambil sekarang mulai nyicil bulan depan... nyummy...
langsung lah dia membuka pandoras box-nya, wah apa tuh pak... anna sui udah ada pak...itu baunya gimana pak...hmmm seger bgt...yuck bau nyonyah..
apalagi kemaren dia memulai taktik lain... serangan memori!! iya dia dateng ga cuma bawa parfum baru tapi dia bawa parfum2 lama. u know how certain scents reminds you of certain period of time... yah begitulah. ini kan pas waktu itu... kan... hihihi...

picking a perfume is like picking a personality, once you find a little of yourself now, an alot of what you want to become later in the scent, then you'll know that's the one. it's like defining what u are about.
they it's jinx to give perfume as a gift to someone, specially to your BF or GF, personally i think it's not bad luck. it's just that, it would look like you are trying to make another personality out of someone, than they wouldn't feel like being true to themself.

tapi gw juga ga pernah sih setia ama satu parfum. but one thing incommon they all describe me, yana yang lagi pingin ga girlie, yana yang lagi pingin dianggep dewasa, yana yang pingin jadi the new yana.. (yg ini sering terjadi)
dari semuanya ga pernah jauh-jauh dari "yana", umum bgt ga sih (ga ngejelasin apa2).

overall, this is my scents CV* :
- white musk, the body shop (1996)
- cool water, davidoff (1997)
- leu par kenzo, kenzo (1998)
- ck one, calvin klien (1999)
- issey miyake (2000)
- ultraviolet, paco rabbane (2002)
- rush, gucci (2003)
- ck one, calvin klien (2004)
- her, fcuk (2005)

*tahun tidak akurat

hmm.. What's my scent says about my personality?

it's only us

ga ada yang pingin ditulis, but i just remembered some pictures, udah lama sih, tapi belom sempet di posting...... miss them much.



huaaa... kapan ktemuan lagi... dan ngobrol ga penting.. dan bertidak bodoh..

top reasons why ladies today are still single

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men,
have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money
think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,
somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and
have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy
and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose
interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

forward dr my girls (ika n aya)
(alasan..alasan..hihi.. but a nice laugh in the morning)

serve..

Setelah direncanakan berminggu-minggu akhirnya jadi juga. i'm back playing tennis again. Sekujur tubuh rasanya mau copot semua sekarang, but i had so much fun yesterday. seperti biasa yana kan suka berlebihan kalo lagi suka sesuatu. jadi saya browsing-browsing to look at the world of tennis. It's such a beautiful sport, the green fields, the british-ness, and did i mention the clothes, the gear ( a reason to shop, wahaha), this sport has so much style. i missed wimbledon yesterday, just watch a glimpse of it. lagian sekarang kok orang ga seru lagi ya nonton olah raga, ga kaya dulu, ampe telat masuk kantor ato bahkan bolos. although dua jagoan gw kalah dua-duanya di wimbledon kemaren but i'm still fired up about tennis.

Musicology/Sociology

In this July Edition of the Magazine I've been working on, kita ngangkat tema music. Pas meeting dibahas lah what kinda music yang mau di bahas. Diputusin kalo 80's music yang bakalan jadi intinya. Si 80s ini ternyata berkembang jadi nostalgia status sosial di ruang meeting. I'm not disapproving, cuma makes me remember that old days to, i wouldnt say it was bad, it's just un-wanna-go-back-there-again. My 80's and mid 90's is probably the most exhausting social environment Ive ever been through. I was in this private school yang menganggap semua yang ga penting jadi penting. Kayanya, tiap hari ada bulletin (or dare I say Clue Magazine hihi) yang kita harus baca tiap hari, karena kalo ga tau akan jadi orang yang sangat ga penting. Tapi si bulletin ini invisible, jadi ngeliatnya harus pake mata dan kuping yang sangat-sangat peka. Karena this little detail ga mungkin diumumin begitu aja, everything yang udah out loud itu udah basi. Get it?

Yah begitulah, these details lah yang coming back di perang pamer ruang meeting, yang ternyata jadi berhari-hari maybe ampe majalah naek cetak. They loved it so much, maybe coz they were the happening people back then, (n they still are) and they now these tiny things much much more than I do (of course they are older). It just made me think, they could be nice n friendly to me right now, but back the they could the ones intimidating me, n making my life such a lame thing. And whether they know it or not, thats what theyre doin now.Pameran yang ampir sebulan ini akhirnya dirangkum di main artikel, yang mesti di lay out satu halaman saja, imagine the screaming and the shouting of knowing it all. Kesimpulannya, tergantung where your social inviroment is, kalo anak BMX dengerinnya ga mungkin sama ama anak slow rock, after all music is identitas diri.

Notice that i'm not writing about any music or any songs? Coz kalo ditulis, I would feel like exactly what they're doin.

JASON MRAZ "Sleep All Day"

Since di kantor lagunya dustak dustak mulu.. lagi di pinjemin CD nya Jason Mraz juga, so i dowload it. Turns out, they love Jason’s tunes also.
Specially this one. Oo.. what a rest to my ears.


JASON MRAZ "Sleep All Day"

His after moan though cries oh no
He's building up a shine but he take it slow
And he knows it's time to make a change here And time to get away
And he knows it's time for all the wrong reasons, oh, time to end the pain
But he sleep all, sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over again
Why don't we?

She said what would your mother think and how would your father react oh lord
Would he take it all back what they've done
No way he said take it, take it and don't break it with your own two hands
That was my old man and he said
if all is grounded you should go make a mountain out of it

oh what a lovely day to have a slice of humble pie
recalling of the while we used to drive and drive here and there
going nowhere but for us, nowhere but for the two of us
and we knew it was time to take a chance here
and time to compromise our lives for awhile
and it was time for all the wrong reasons
but time is often on my side and I give it to you tonight
and we sleep all, sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over again

as time goes by we get a little bit tired waking and baked another Marlboro mile wide
it's sending the boys on the run in the time in hot summer sun
to swim beneath or over outside as they're reading between the lines
then they remember the part in the hallmark card where they read about the dreams
and reaching for the stars to hold on a little bit closer to
and they knew it was time, time to take a chance here
time to compromise our little lives just a little while
and they knew it was time for all the wrong and, lonely, lonesome reasons, oh
as time is often on my side and I give it to you, oh boy
and we sleep all, sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over again

She said what would your mother think and how would your father react oh lord
Would he take it all back what they've done
No way he said take it, take it and don't break it with your own two hands
That was my old man and he said
if all is grounded you should go make a mountain out of it

Antara 13 Maret sampai 13 Juni

Sebenernya agak-agak malas sih nge-up date blog, Cuma udah agak-agak malu ama diri sendiri. Malahan betah berjam-jam ngebacain blog yang laen. Everybodeeeh! Hebat ya! Kok bisa sih ditengah-tengah load kerjaan, tugas kampus, bahkan skripsi, masih dengan tekunnya nulis. Karena di kantor im glued to the tube of my computer gara-gara kerjaan n dateline mepet, ga rela bgt rasanya kalo menghabiskan my free time dengan nulis (coz I have to sit in front of that box again). N since so much happened in the past weeks, jadi di rapel aja ya.

Clue magazine Juni
After just a few days dari terbitnya magazine Mei, I already make a rough layout of what I wanted to do with this issue. The color, the flow, so later on it would save time. Tapi seperti biasa iklan dan materi baru ngumpul last days. Untung juga sih udah bikin template semua, jadi tinggal paste tulisan aja. All I recall is at some point I felt so drained and out of place.

Phone Call with Ika (again)
Cape bgt pulang kantor hari jumat, dan manda ga ngajakin ngopi. So I called Ika, my one and only friend that stayed at home at this time (coz we dont have BF, even her mom love to laugh at us). Every Friday noon I always felt alone, krn anak2 kantor kerjaannya kalo jam segituan ngomongnya udah ttg clubbing ato rave party mulu. I don't go to clubs. Coffee bean is a satifaction for me. They're not mean people, they just work hard, party hard, drink hard, rave hard. For me it's work hard, shop hard, pray hard. But my dear friend Ika post me a good quote in between my complaints about everything, Yan, jangan kaya Lobster, luarnya keras taoi dalemnya lunak, lo harus jadi kebalikannya, luarnya lunak, tapi dalamnya punya base yang kuat.

Sari Nila
Penting ya? Penting! She's my idol, and she's gonna be in my magazine as featured profile. Agak dag dig dug juga coz ampir ga jadi karena dia lagi ke state. Jadi berubah lah Sari Nila jadi.. Dewi Ivo-Riyanni Djangkaru-Asti Ananta (?!) knpa dari my idol jadi my worst nightmare. (maaf pecinta asti, saya tidak suka dia). But Mba Nila saves the day, shes back, all tired but still drop dead smartly beautiful, with black singlet, etnik necklace, and a long gypsy skirt. I think I would make a written contribution ( blog written), as a tribute to her.

Pitching another magazine
Yaya ternyata dateline ketat dengan satu designer belom cukup buat kantor ini. Mesti nge-gaet satu lagi. Argh!!! Baru istirahat satu hari (wait a minute, setengah hari). Udah disuru ikut pitching. Did I tell you that I stayed till 12 for 3 days straight in the office, n I have to be back by 9 the morning after? I didnt, well I just did. And this cost me a day sleep over too. And another all nigt long mock up printing at Snappy. But it's good learning experience, coz we were guided by one of the best design consultant in Jakarta, or even local advertising. His design was outstanding (jiper gasih). He gave us a peek look of books and magazines, to show us the look that they want. My first design was too flat, so we had to redesign it again. But, I think the outcome was pretty good. Hoped it’s a goal!

Mello Melahirkan (lagi)
Setelah menggendut cukup lama si melski ngelahirin tiga anak. Kaya sapi semua, sekarang udah pada melek, buooooduoooohhhhh bgt tampangnya. Sehat-sehat ya, nanti mau di adopsi papa febri.

She's the one
Sabtu Pagi, abis naek cetak, dan kerjaan, I dont know what to do. Biasanya ngapain ya? Ooo .. my girlfriends.. where are they? With their bf of course. But atleast biasanya mereka telpon, just to curhat about their spouse, their HTI, or whatever. Well, I guess lagi pada ga ada masalah kayanya. *my phone vibrate* yan, ngupi2 yuk di coffee bean. -amanda.


PIM Reminiscing
Karena tiap jumat udah ke Town Square mulu (yaya.. bkn status sosial yg membanggakan), jadi this week minta manda untuk ke PIM aja, yah for old tome sake. Makan KFC, trus ke Oh Lala, chat till night, ooo that good old days.
Jadi nyampe sana sambil nungguin manda, jalan2 ke tempat seatu Metro, it's a surreal feeling, having to know about this place so much but u don’t belong there anymore. I know it’s impossible NOT to meet atleast one of my ex co-worker, and as predicted, there she is, niken, one of the girls from the same department, after a small chat, she have to meet her friend. Manda, sms me, she’s here. Straight to the colonel sanders place. There begins the blabbing, the showoff-ing (hahaha) .. such a stress reliever. It's 9 o’clock already, and febri is gonna join us at 10. so, we decided to move, sambil ngopi-ngopi. Jadi jalan lah kami, sambil liat2 sepatu sepatu dan sepatu. And planet sports, kan rencananya mau balik maen tennis lagi, jadi sambil cari-cari sepatu tennis (hmm mahal ya). After that kita ke daily bread, since oh lala tutup karena perbaikan jembatan PIM. Yah suw duduklah kita. Klik.. kok Toys City gelap ya? Eh Disc Tara, man ingetin gw nanti ke Disc Tara ya, gw mau beli Coldplay, nanti dapet gelang.. ga penting yan. Klik, kok Disc Tara matiin lampu, banner The Incredible bergoyang-goyang masuk toko. Huaa.. Pim dah mau tutup. Padahal Town Square jam segini baru pada dateng. Rupanya karena terlalu sering berkhianat ama Pim, kita jadi lupa kalo Pim tutup jam 10. Orang Daily Bread udah beres2 kursi, dan kita baru sadar, we're the only one yang ditungguin. Dengan muka bingung, malu dan ketawa sepanjang jalan keluar lah kita membawa ice blend masing2 yang masih penuh dan ikut berbondong-bondong bersama rombongan SPG Metro.

Ktemuan ama Wirda n Monika-chan
Yang ini baru beberapa hari yang lalu. Akhirnya!!! Cieee langsung pamer majalah de. Siap guys! Siap dikomentarin, komennya kok cuma, satu majalah lo semua yan? Enden back to gossip, ahahaha, tetep aja udah keluar dari sana, pingin tau aja gitu dunia dalam beritanya kantor lama. Yang udah sepi, yang udah berubah tata letaknya, yang makin banyak kontroversinya. But I missed it, miss them, miss my spot, miss my girls, miss our talks. I never knew I would miss metro this much.

here it is

dag dig dug.. i'm opening page by page of the magazine.. tryin to all little mistake i've that could be big in the boardroom..
* aduh terlalu mepet
* knapa warnanya ga keluar
* nanti kalo bikin film harus ikut
* naek cetak juga
* is it too girlie
* kanak2 banget, ga bisa lebih apa yan desainnya
* tapi yang drive out boleh juga
* yang one2one juga bagus
* mana disebelahnya iklan alcopops, harmonisasinya klik
* lama2 bagus juga kalo dikombinasiin ama halaman sebelah
* did i do a.. an ok job? yang standart lah
it's such a preasure, since it's actually my first edition of the magazine. after all kalo majalah lifestyle kaya gini kan look yg penting. hiks, mudah2an ga kliatan de.

so, dengan pede nya
extra.. extra..GET SWEAT WITH CLUE MAGAZINE MAY EDITION

.....

Why do I always feel something that wasn't there?

water and the sun

Hari ini tadinya ga mau ngapa2in. Mau bermalas2an didepan tv, nonton Before Sunrise yg baru beli kemaren, trus nulis blog. But, si Nei nei dateng, sepupu kecil bulat itu minta dtemenin berenang, karena Papanya ga bawa baju renang. Berangkat lah kita berempat ke Cilandak Sport Center, ama Dinta my little sister.
Nyampe di sana matahari lagi bersinar dengan gembiranya, apadaya anak kecil kalo udah liat air pasti langsung minta nyebur. Menyeburlah kita bertiga ke kolam cetek.. ih kakak ih paling gede sendiri di kolam cetek... hmm. Setelah aga lama nemenin mereka ciprat2an air, dan ngerasa mereka aman, its my time.
I love swimming.. coz I can swim, with all the things I cant, im proud to be a good swimmer. Its been a while since I swim. Dulu, waktu monik (my sister) belom pake jilbab, kita berdua sering bgt berenang. Paling enak main di 2 meter and just flowing like mermaids, touching the bottom of the pool.
There’s just somekind of feeling being underwater, the still silence, the soft slow moving, the flow of the water, and everything about it. But the thing is.. begitu ke luar dari air, pop.. back to the noisy reality.
Paling ga enak gini nih… cewe berenang sendirian, dan ada gerombolan cowo sebaya, kliatan bgt bodohnya. Setelah berhasil gaya bebas dengan sukses, dari ujung ke ujung (aga susah soalnya biasa gaya katak), I decide to try gaya punggung.. ok yan coba lebar kolam aja. Pelan pelan aja yan.. hmmm kayanya udah nyampe nih.. loh ternyata jalurnya L, memalukan. Attempt kedua, matanya dibuka.. pelan pelan.. pelan pelan.. kayanya udah nih, kesalahan bodoh kedua baru ¾ kolam. Third attempt, pelan pelan.. pelan pelan.. buk!! ternyata sudah sampai. Pake diteriakin… Hare gene! Dasar cowo2 ga penting.
Ya udah balik lagi nemenin tuh ank dua… untung sekarang mau main2 di kolam aga dalem, ka nada tangga2 nya… jadi aman lah disitu. Ada anak bule yang mau ikutan maen karena si nei nei bawa pelampung Dora, trus si nei nei bilang aku tadi Tanya whats ur name kak, tapi dia ga jelas gitu jawabnya.. ternyata akhirnya kita tau kalo si anak bule itu orang prancis, pantes ga nyambung.
Did i say its been a while since i last swim, it must been more than a while, coz i forgot, my skin burn so fast.. and this usually last 2 or even 3 days. Well lets just that right now I look like Kepiting Saos Padang.

aaaaahhhhhhh....

Akhirnya.. selesai juga si majalah itu.. Clue magazine edisi 6 Mei, and as my revenge is a full a day of beauty treatment. Pas banget kemaren libur, so I was making plans.. whether it’s gonna be facial (coz my face is turning into a group of volcanos), lulur (coz I need the massage), creambath (coz my head need a reward, after lots of headaches last week), and a haircut (coz it doesn’t look good). And these 4 things happened to be in 3 different places.
Facial, I only trust someone with needle, in a clinic, atleast I know they only wear disposable ones. Jadi, ga mungkin di salon kan.
Tempat luluran, di Inan (hahaha… salon murah, tapi khusus cewe semua, jadi kita bebas luluran, meni pedi, disalon lain kan 2 hal ini agak merugikan *mahal) tapi disini creambathnya ga enak, tiap creambath disitu kok kayanya ga bersih, rambut jadi peliket.
Jadi creambath mesti di Itje (salon nyokap dari kecil selalu kesini, khusus cewe juga, tapi disini kalo sabtu minggu ato hari libur aga mahal) tapi dijamin puas banget di situ, lagian disana bisa potong (modelnya ga mungkin kaya mba2 teng aja, tapi ga kaya ubud juga sih).

So, facial di bangka, lulur di pasar minggu, crembath potong di cipete, hmm.. I think ill skip lulur. Brangkat lah ke tempat facial, nyampe disana ternyata mesti nunggu dulu, untung ada tukang somay lewat.. makan ambil nunggu, ga lama selesai makan ada tempat yg kosong.Ternyata di ruangan belakang, ada tiga bed, mines right in the center, sebelah2 ternyata temenan, so its not my fault to overheard their conversation, rite. That’s the thing about salon, everybody just blabs. Bukannya ngerasa keganggu dengan obroloan mereka, malah seneng gitu dengerin mereka cerita. Yang satu ternyata suaminya bule, dengan tampang yang Indonesia bgt, sama bahasa yg Indonesia bgt juga, dia cerita ttg hubungan dia ama mertua, prilaku suaminya, yah yg gitu2 de. She actually nice, she let me have her masseuse for a while, karena mba nya mau cabutin alis ku. And at that time break, dia telfon suaminya, manja2an ama suaminya, yg ternyata lagi tidur siang. As her goodbye, dia bilang dream sweet.. maksudnya mimpi yg indah.. yg dia koreksi lagi dengan beautiful dream. Setelah 2 jam, bittersweet moments.. tusukan jarum dan olesan masker dingin yang seger, sama pijatan yang bikin ngantuk, selesailah si facial.

Dengan muka yang 2 kali lebih tebal, its time to go to Itje. Nyampe disana langsung ganti sikemben ijo, and ready for my ultimate head treatment. Such bliss.. with a sweet smell of carrots.. her hands just spoiled my head, my neck n my shoulder. After putting all those cream in my hair, she tucked it with warm towels. Then she massage my shoulder all the way to my hands, with jasmine body lotion. Tunggu beberapa menit ya mba biar menyerap.. Ok mba, bisa minta majalah?Tiba2 dateng ibu2 ngomel, karena katanya dari tadi dianggurin, mau dicreambath, rambutnya udah basah disampo. Duduklah dia disebelah. Dengan muka nyureng ama tangan ngelipet, mulai diolesin cream, selama treatment tegang bgt, emang bisa enjoy ya creambath gitu? kayanya mba yg ngerjain juga stress.Akhirnya si mba mimin dateng bawa majalah yg dia janjiin tadi... taraa.. Clue magazine aja lo 2 biji... mau kabur dari kerjaan malah dikasi reminder.

Yah at least I got out of the salon with great haircut, relax nerve, and smell good. Feels like being born again.

You and I both --Jason Mraz

Was it you who spoke the words
that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice
I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words, get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
A little birds who sings about the magic
that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.

See Im all about them words
Over numbers,
unencumbered
numbered words
Hundreds of pages,
pages, pages forwards
More words then I
had ever heard and I feel so alive
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore

And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of

And if you could see me now
Well Im almost finally out of
Im finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well Im almost finally, finally
Well Im free, oh, Im free

And its okay if you had go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
But if I never ever hear them ring.. ringading diding

If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I ll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see now
well Im almost finally out of
Im finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
And I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.

kupingku panas

Parah.. parah.. curhat ama ika ampe 3 jam by phone.. yana rekor.. hihi maaf ya ka, kupingnya ampe panas sebelah.. but Ive got loads of stories to tell, and ika as well.Puas deh, oelil juga udah pas ke tokonya kemaren, tinggal si ay ay.. mau cerita juga Cuma kok kaya nya tiap nelpon dia ga ada dirumah, pas dia nelp lagi low bat. Maaf ya Ya, lo terakhir ya belom denger my wining (memgeluh bkn menang, gmn tulisannya). Tapi lo kan pertama yg gw kasi tau kalo gw dapet kerjaan. Nanti deh when im not this hectic and tired, ill spread it on the blog.

calling all martians

Okay so... I got a job... so hectic and busy, pass few days.. jadi ga sempet nulis. All I can say is.. apakah aku ada di mars? or am i a martian?

seabl... sebal..

mau ngisi... knapa blognya ga bisa di preview... ga asik.. hikshiks..

girls girls girls

dapet dari ryan... sebenernya ini naekin ato ngerendahin cw ya...

HARD-DISK GIRLS
Cewek jenis ini akan mengingat semua hal,

SELAMANYARAM GIRLS
Cewek jenis akan langsung melupakan mu, pada saat kamu melepaskannya.

WINDOWS Girls
Semua tahu cewek jenis ini tidak dapat melakukan semua dengan benar, tapi kita tidak dapat hidup tanpanya.

SCREEN SAVER Girls
Cewek jenis ini bagus hanya untuk bersenang senang saja

INTERNET Girls
Biasanya susah di akses, dan mudah putus hubungan (Disconnected)

SERVER Girls
Selalu sibuk bila kita membutuhkannya

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS
Cewek jenis ini bisa membuat hal buruk menjadi indah

CD-ROM Girls
Selalu lebih cepat dan cepat

E-MAIL Girls
Setiap sepuluh kalimat yang diucapkannya, delapan kalimat adalah bohong

VIRUS Girls
Cewek jenis ini bila kita tidak memerlukannya dia datang, dia meng-Install dirinya dan menggunakan semua sumber sumber yang ada. Jika kita berusaha meng- Un-install,kita akan kehilangan semuanya. Jika kita tidak berusaha untuk meng Un-Installnya, maka kita pun akan kehilangan juga...cewek jenis ini biasa juga dikenal dengan istilah...ISTRI.

just..

I hate crying... the headache stays till the morning after..

The Motorcycles Diaries

Hmmm.. for someone yang ga baca koran, gw perlu nonton untuk tau about what's going on in the world, fiction or fact. And by the way, I don't know Che Guevara was so carmingly puuuuurfect. And…. Gael Garcia giytuh lohhhhh….

Ya ya, Motorcycles Diaries tuh film yang bikin gw…. *why didn't I wanna know about this person before….* After all he started the Cuban revolutionary, even a role model for Nelson Mandela. And his face is practically all over the world of design grafis and distro. The thing is, I thought all revolutionary is from someone that actually feel and been through poverty and great lost… and this guy.. a medical student soon to be a doctor, with a good career waiting for him but he choose playing Robin Hood.

This movie is all about that quote... it's not the result, it's the journey. And this journey changed a man, and soon a country, at the end the world. As a start, both, Ernesto Guevara (23) and Alberto Granado (29), were ambitious and hopeful of the journey, they only pictured even if they're broke and the motorcycle fell into pieces it gonna be fun, like all those stories people only read in books, with the cherry on top.. celebrate Albertos 30th birthday as the journeys end. Selama perjalanan, Ernesto & Alberto, all they see exactly is their race (latino) as naked as can be. So much hurt, lost, and ignorance. Banyak samanya sih ama negara kita tercinta ini. A great civilization actually vanished coz another one shows up, and claimed their the one whose right. At the end, both became two different individual, each with different perspective and different goals. And change Ernesto to Che Guevara.

Pokoknya film ini MUST SEE, is possible kalo yang bikin film berharap maybe.. it would make real changes.. dan kaya kata Che di film ini bilang... revolusi itu harus kreatif, ga niru..ga pernah dilakukan sebelumnya.

*****Film based on true story sekarang, sangat memuaskan.. effort untuk jadi kata TRUE itu berasa banget.

"Analysis destroys wholes... Some things, magic things, are meant to stay whole. If you look at their pieces, they go away..."

Bridges of Madison County

so sad cant write for few days

why...why.... why did u have to throw away all of my kittens... hiks... dasar tega... gimana bisa mereka cari makan.... modjo... cemong... ghea... lomo... gendut.... kemana kalian... baik baik ya... modjo... jagain ade2 mu ya....
mama kucing sayang kamu...

talk show

Hmmm.. a historical day.. for tv, today..
Pertama, ada Tora Sudiro di Ruming TV7, terus ada Christian Bautista di Ceriwis.. yowiss. Yaeh yeah I know pretty phatethic nganggr life ya… sorry but I just love interviews. I believe that interview actually brings out the real people, biasanya jadi basic judgement. Yea I jugde.. guilty pleasure gitu deh…
Tapi kan ga selalu bad judgment.. misalnya kan lame banget kan suka ama Christian Bautista... menye menye gitu lagunya (biarin gue suka). But, waktu itu nonton getar cinta ama Nirina yg jadi host, it’s a pretty good interview... unlike Delon yg TP, Ian justru act pretty natural and sincere.
Lain lagi ama Jamie Cullum, I love his records.. sing a lot from the heart. But one interview I see... he’s just so bitter and all.. I know all about it. I didn’t actually throw the records to the dumps.. I just put it away for a while.
And little miss I’m so punk I cant even begin to believe you, I don’t care coz everybody hate to love n love to hate me Avril Lavigne. (let see how succesfull your concert will be here).
Ada sutradara Indonesia yg I actually worship before I see him being interviewed. Rudi Soejarwo... God I hate that man. He was always so cocky, sok ganteng, sok muda berbakat, sok banyak ide... when he’s just a Stand by Me copycat.

Another good interview is, Gwyneth Paltrow di Oprah... (ini subyektif.... I just love her). Not really, maybe I’m a little surprise she’s so goofy. But anything in Oprah is Good, semua jadi jujur dan cantik, knapa ya... well except Britney, she still look cheap n stupid.

The best maybe Mandy Moore, her songs and movies doesn’t actually worth a Grammy and an Oscar, but I just love her personality. In one interview with Asha on channel V, they’d enjoy talking so much as if they were friends playing truth or dare. The interview felt so quick, she even said, huh? It’s over. Can we doit again. Di ending-nya Asha bilang thank you, you are so real. I think that’s the best compliment you ever get.

.....

Mostly, I just think, talk, and never do.

Is this making any sense at all?

After nonton Before Sunset, Serendipity (iya lagi), baca Bridges of Madison County, n rerun of My Girl 2 kemaren di transtv, it's more clear to me that.. only a few things like that happened in real life. I think, misalnya dalam satu keluarga besar kita, paling cuma satu ato dua yang mengisi marriage with it, maybe in my family that’s already sucked by all the love of my Opa to my Oma (you just could tell, even when he was dying, he just wrap all the love around her) Other than that, it’s all about tolerance.

Seperti biasa, minggu pagi kaya gini, me, nyokap and my sister sarapan di teras depan sambil ngeliat lapangan bola yang terus-terusan diguyur ujan dari tadi malem. The three of us just sit around, and eat, and sip the hot coffemix or tea, and just talk. This thing could take till it’s time for lunch. From calm conversations to risen our tone, or even a deep silence. Anyway, this time topik yang diatas yang dibahas, sebelumnya sih bahas masalah lain yang akhirnya nyambung kesini.

I just feel that when someone actually step in to my life, as my husband, it won't be because all the zazazu (as carrie bradshaw once said). Mostly maybe it's because of security reason. Bukan ga ada feeling sama sekali. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to expect passionate love, but mostly all the marriages I know, never had. It’s just the feeling, the reasonable reasons, and the time.

I think I never fought or try anything to get love, so I don't think I deserve that as much as I wanted to. And if someday some guy walks through my door and steps in, he will get what he deserve to get. Misalnya ada cowo yang udah jatuh bangun (dangdut) di relationship, keep falling, (walk under a bus, sit by a train, sunk up at sea, crash his car, gone insane), and at the end of the day he found me, and decided to keep me, not that I’m the love of his life. But I think he deserve this relationship better than I am.

Maybe, in my most deepest denial feeling, I already did feel love, although I've never been through it. But I did get an amount of love that I actually feel that is love. Maybe I had been given that amount of love just for the memory of it. Just for the times that I needed it.

After all we could found love, happiness, and the zazazu just getting back to the feeling, the memories, the books, the movies, or the songs.
Is this making any sense at all?

what a journal it has been

I just had a trip back in time, baca diary dari tahun 2002. Pertama, cuma mau baca satu halaman aja, but I enjoy my self to much, I finished the hole book.
Back than I don't have a blog, I figured it's just my best way to describe my self. I love reading, I wanna write like those adventure books I read, although I quickly wake up to see that how boring my life is.
U know, I have a few concept and period in my diary, journal or whatever it is.
I write my first journal back when I was still in 3rd or 4th grade I think. It was so lame, mostly it's about a fight I had with my sister cause she always takes the best stuff, my day with my favorite stuffed animal Wempy, or when I was crying. Then I stopped writing.
I found the book again when I was in junior high, read it, and decided to write again, this time I was in the period of when I love movies so much. Every week I would save my money to rent laserdisc of every movie I read about in teen beat. My favorite movie was Clueless, I loved it. It was about nothing and everything, I thought.. I could easily write that. So, I start to write again. In that period the book was filled with.. So, okay I was like... u know... totally.. pretty stupid huh... bummer.. (I still laugh when I read it, amy hackerling should hire me as her writer). Then I stopped again.
Another period is when someone liked me, I can't express my feelings by talking, so I write. Although I tell my self I don't like him, the book is all about him. Till I tell my self to stop, and buy another book, and promise my self never to write about him.
With the new book, I wrote affirmation infront of the page.

This is supposed to be a turning point for me. I want to start a journal that is supposed to reveal my expression and learning about everything in my life. I will try to focused on what I really want and not doing it because what every will think of me. An impression has been a big role in my life, hoped it would be out of the question 4 me.
I will try :
- to keep my promise
- be more organized
- love my self (and take good care of it)
- stop arguing with Papa
- closer to GOD

In this book, I put the center in my feeling, dengan bahasa yang belang-belang I think I get my self more, I'm more opened, I'm more optimist, more creative in expressing what I had to deal with, but I'm still a wanderer.
I think that will always be a part of me, a wanderer that is.
That's why when i read the book today, i missed that part about me, so much that i wanna write again.
I'm still not a devoted friend of the book, I still constantly leave it, and sporadically write it. But, there are time when I opened the book and read the front page, and I get up on my feet again.

Before Sunset

With a box of cookies n cream ice cream in my hand, place two remote controls on the table, I sit and watch Before Sunset. I really really try to set this movie watching event like it needs so much concentration, otherwise... u won't get it yan...
so there I was.. Sitting straight.
I was interested at this movie cause I read about it in someone's blog (thank u), and it won an oscar. And it's a sequel (I failed to get the first one), so I thought I won't get this one if I didn't try hard.
First the set begun at a bookstore, where Jesse is making a press conference of a book he's written, all in all the press was sure that the best selling book is about his real life, his journey with Celine. Was it real? Did they meet eventually? His answer made me start enjoying the movie.
All the effort I tried to concentrate, is no longer needed.
The story is just about cacthing up something that's unfinished (which I wanted it so much to happened to me to.. I wish). The dialog is so natural just like a river of words, if they told me that the shot was just one take of the whole movie which are not true... I would've belived it. Yang paling nyata di dialog dua orang ini is keterbukaan hati. No one is offended by each, they just connect.
All in all, I truly actually totally believe in the movie... it's what I've been craving for.

Katanya sih susah cari yg pertama (Before Sunrise), but will it ruin the sequel?

u've got to tolerate

"Doesn't it scares you... you're will is not as strong as it used to be."

Okay..okay.. udah boring nih sekarang.. not having a job and everything... but I don't think I have a great ideas to sell, I just missed those regular things.

Hating Mondays, getting showers with those freezing cold water, breakfast while preparing your bags, forgetting where I put my watch, and all of those till the end of the day meeting manda to talk about nothing and everything.
I try to make another schedule actually, by being home... not that I wanted to tell everyone, then you'll know how lazy I am.
I guess I'm already bored with this schedule, I wanted something else.
Tapi kemaren kan berenti juga karena bosen, gak ngasah otak sama sekali... that's a total lie, gini kan juga bikin otak tambah tumpul yan... dasar pemalas saja kamu... hihi... iya sih... as much as I want that thing... I didn't do a single thing about it.
Ini sama persis sama waktu baru lulus masih berapi2 masuk dunia kerja tapi kok kerjaan yg ada cuma itu, ya udahlah.. set your standard low yan, lo kan cuma trisakti... okay.. but the thing is... I still wanted it... so I felt unsatisfied.. getting out, I'm fired up with ideas... but I got Lala (that what my mom said).. lala itu terbuai. Right now, kayanya balik ke toleransi lagi deh.

little update

atlast.... Akhirnya terpasang juga internet dirumah. Kemaren dody dateng n he did his magic. And just like a child with her new toys..... I cant help playing n smiling all day. Although I feel very numb now,n I don't now what to write in my blog I just cant help my self. Monik, wirda.... mba renny...... Here I come.....

tarra!....